I have never thought about the importance of spirituality in a relationship until I met you and now it feels like one of the most important factors. You opened my heart, my mind and my eyes. I have no words to describe the love I have for you, only that I know love now.
I can no longer imagine life without you. For reasons unknown to me this is over. It feels like nothing without you.
Running away is the easy the easy thing to do, the hardest thing is to gather up all of your strength to face your fears.
A wise woman told me today to disconnect emotionally. I have found a moment in myself where my emotions have calmed and it is in this calmness that I can find my disconnection point.
In my head I have a conversation with myself for every missed conversation I want to share with you. Throughout my day, I think about you, miss you and yearn for you. I can see that my attachment is strong, I just need to ensure that the attachment never controls me.
<3
The arabic hospitality here in Jordan is something to experience. When talking with someone new, one of the first things that will be said to you is “Welcome to Jordan”. This is a true sentiment to their hospitality. You will receive endless cups of tea, too much food and they will always insist that you accept anything they are giving you.
I have been welcomed into homes for meals, to talk and for tea. I have been invited on roadtrips, to schools and along to weddings. I have been treated as family by many people. I will always find home wherever I am, as I can always find family here.
You can often hear that a man is weak if he cries and a woman is weak if she is emotional.
Well I disagree it takes courage to stand up and be seen by others. Emotions are a god given blessing that allow us to be human.
If I show someone I am upset then I am taking a stand for myself because I am being strong. If I hide in a room and allow myself to be walked over then I am being weak.
Right now I feel like I stand alone in my world. When I show my emotions my friends can gather around me or shrink away into the distance.
I have now chosen the "Life of a CaMEL" so that I can wander and survive with only what is on my back.
About three years ago I decided to move from my home town to a capital city about 200kms south. What I realised when I arrived is that I may as well of 200,000kms away. I feel like to people in the city are foreign and disconnected.
So why would I want to stay, when I can experience so much more in the big wide world.
